Interesting Times

So which one of you did it? Who offended some ancient Chinese scholar? One of you must have done something because we are certainly living in interesting times. The pages of the calendar have flipped to 2009 and there are a few interesting issues I can’t pass up.

First, this movement afoot to impose a gas tax so that we’ll pay $4 per gallon regardless of the market price of oil. You’re kidding right? Weren’t gas prices a culprit in this whole economic downturn we’ve got on now? Anyway, I was late to this party as the first I’d heard of it was from my mother this morning. Of course I thought she was spouting some crazy Republican spin. But no, there I find in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and on CNN that people are talking about this tax as valid energy policy for the U.S. Seriously. The pro’s say that we’ll reduce dependence on foreign oil, keep our money at home, and support Detroit’s efforts toward fuel efficient vehicles.

OK, let’s talk about reduced dependence on foreign oil. We are, as a nation, addicted to oil. We get that. We don’t care. Nobody cares where the gasoline comes from beyond “the Texaco down the street.” Nobody in the U.S. gives a rat’s *&!# about geo-politics. Nobody. We don’t care about our dependence on foreign oil. We should. But we don’t.

Keep our money at home? Really? So if I’m paying $2 for the gas and $2 for the tax instead of just paying $2 for the gas that I pay today… isn’t my money now going two places, only twice as much of it? Yes, I get that people will consume overall less gas so less money will be going to sponsor terrorism, but we’ll still be sending $2 to the terrorists. Why don’t they just say “we’re going to increase the gas tax because we’ve done such a crappy job on our budget for the last 30 years that we need more money and we finally figured out what Exxon Mobil knew all along: you’ll pay anything for gas because you’re addicted to it.” It’s a mouthful, yes, but how stupid do they think we are?

Third, Detroit makes the cars people want to buy. If you want them to make something else, buy something else. Welcome to the free market my friends. It may not be pretty, but it’s done a good job for the last few hundred years and sooner or later it will sort out those goofballs in Detroit. The problem isn’t that they’re making the wrong cars, it’s that they’re making crummy cars. Go take a look at a Honda Civic, then go take a look at a Chevy Aveo. Now ask yourself, “what the hell is an Aveo?” The Civic is so much better that nobody’s bothered to find out. You want to support Detroit, be my guest, but my prescription is a little different: go buy a new Civic, take it apart, copy it nut for bolt and sell copies. I don’t need a $25 billion bailout just 15 grand for a new Civic.

And to top it all off, the Pro’s say we can ease the burden by giving the money back to Americans as a tax rebate or use it to “protect vulnerable segments” of the economy. Doubletalk. I think the definition of vulnerable needs to be changed. It should be:

Vul•ner•a•ble – adjective – 1: Rich, 2: Poor. Antonym Middle Class.

Alright so I only got to one issue for 2009. But it’s a long year and I have plenty of time to hit the others before we’re ringing in 2010!